Thursday, November 27, 2014

Give Thanks in ALL Things-Really?

As I started the trek outside of town, I gave thanks for the snowflakes on my arm..."Beautiful Run. Thank you for the snow,"  I prayed.

As I hit one of my favorite spots on my run, I stopped for a quick picture.  "Beautiful trees.  Thank you for the view,"  I prayed.
As I turned toward home, the wind hit my face, snow started covering me from head to toe.  I started getting cold.  "Thank you for the warmth of my fireplace that awaits.  Thank you for my cozy home," I prayed.

As I neared the end of my run, I came to a crossroads.  I could turn to the left, which would mean a flat, relatively easy run home.  Or, I could choose to keep running straight forward, which would mean one last hill to climb.  
I chose to turn left, but God whispered, "Don't go that way.  Go forward.  Climb the hill."  So, as I reluctantly made my way up that  hill, snow covered, cold, and water pouring out of my eyes and nose, I prayed, "For what do I give thanks in this?"  
And God answered, 
"Me.  Give thanks for Me. Give thanks that you're found in Me."

 God was continuing to teach me the lesson that goes far deeper than a snowy run.  He was deepening my understanding of what it means to  "choose His way over my own" and to "choose Him over the gifts He gives".  I was learning that  even in the hard, even in the disappointments, even in the gut-wrenching, crying, waterproof-wearing mascara days, that I can say, 
"Thank you, God, for THIS." 
 He was reminding me to  "give thanks in all things", for our hope rests in Him Alone.  
Not in circumstances:  positive or negative.  Not in People:  encouraging or critical.
But Him.

So thankful for GRACE that enables one to choose HARD.  
Would never do it on my own.
So thankful for GRACE that enables one to choose to remain under trial.  
Would never do it on my own. 
So thankful for GRACE that enables one to choose God's way over his own.  
Would always choose my own way.
So thankful that I have a Father who keeps me.  
For I cannot keep myself.
So thankful to REST in God.  
For anxiously pursuing anything outside of Him brings anxiety.
Thankful to be found in Him.  
For He saved me by grace.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

He Knows

Because God knows, even when we don't...

Journal entry~Written November 10, 2008  (written 9 months before Gabriel and Ana were born)

Dear Lord~
I didn't really think I'd be having these thoughts tonight.  What if I can't do this, Lord?!  What if I can't be a mommy to four children?  Lord, you know my limits.  I struggle being a working mom with 2 children.  The house.  My job. It's just so overwhelming right now.  I know someday I'll see.  I know you are calling me to walk by faith.  Gabriel Jonathan and Ana Grace.  Will they become real?  Lord, please help my unbelief.  Help my distrust.  I want to be at peace, Lord.  Yes, I want a baby (or babies).  Lord, grant me peace, I pray.  Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being certain of what we hope for, certain of what we do not see.  Hope that is seen is no hope at all.
...Be strong and courageous.  Do not fear.  This battle is not yours to fight.  Be still and know that I am your Lord.