Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Grace~



I've started this 5 times.  All 5 times I deleted what I wrote.  It sounded too stupid or too superficial or too spiritual or too ________________.  As I prepared a delicious lunch of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for the kids, I turned on Faith Radio, to hear a program title that spoke directly to what the Lord has been showing me over the last 48 hours. 
Perfectionism. 
I knew I had perfectionist tendencies (don't we all?) but the man literally listed every single characteristic of myself-to a T.  Bleh.  I don't like to find out stuff after everyone else already knows.  I have a hunch my whole family and anyone who's ever come into contact w/ me knows this.

Rewind 72 hours ago or something like that, to yesterday's morning devotional time.  The Lord clearly told me to "Rest".  It was a glorious day yesterday.  Really.  I rested.  I didn't freak out, well 'cause, God told me to rest.  Do you know what God clearly told me this morning within my spirit, "Do it again.  Rest.  Slow.  Be Still."  So, I started out the day like yesterday, and you know what, I was really enjoying the day.  I mean really enjoy just being, doing whatever I needed to do:  dishes, a walk w/ Thing 1 and Thing 2...When that certain nagging thought that always pops into my mind (You should be doing ____________, instead of this and if you were "insert someone name of anyone here" you'd be doing this), I pushed it aside b/c well, today is another day to REST.  SLOW.  BE STILL.

As I started chasing light around the house with camera in hand, I realized, I don't have to move those dishes, I can just leave them.  It won't kill me.  It will be a record of A&G's playing.  I don't have to x, y, or z.  Grace took over and I was strangely okay with the dishes on the floor, full of Lincoln logs and pretty much the whole house filled with toys.  I started counting the things that A&G touched and moved and created this morning.  And for the first time, in a very long time, if ever, I was thankful.  Thankful they could move their hands to play w/ toys, thankful they could make music, thankful they were creative enough to get the pots out and make whatever it was they were making.  Thankful.  This is a miracle, y'all.  I have nothing against big 'ol, part the Red Sea type of miracles, but This.  This stillness in my heart.  In my mind.  It's a miracle.  Heart Surgery at its finest, by the Great Physician.

So, I have an inkling that tomorrow, I may receive the same command from my Lord.
REST.  SLOW.  BE STILL. 


A photo, begging for grace, of my dear Ana Grace.  I have no idea how to flip the thing around.