I've started this 5 times. All 5 times I deleted what I wrote. It sounded too stupid or too superficial or too spiritual or too ________________. As I prepared a delicious lunch of Cinnamon Toast Crunch for the kids, I turned on Faith Radio, to hear a program title that spoke directly to what the Lord has been showing me over the last 48 hours.
Perfectionism.
I knew I had perfectionist tendencies (don't we all?) but the man literally listed every single characteristic of myself-to a T. Bleh. I don't like to find out stuff after everyone else already knows. I have a hunch my whole family and anyone who's ever come into contact w/ me knows this.
Rewind 72 hours ago or something like that, to yesterday's morning devotional time. The Lord clearly told me to "Rest". It was a glorious day yesterday. Really. I rested. I didn't freak out, well 'cause, God told me to rest. Do you know what God clearly told me this morning within my spirit, "Do it again. Rest. Slow. Be Still." So, I started out the day like yesterday, and you know what, I was really enjoying the day. I mean really enjoy just being, doing whatever I needed to do: dishes, a walk w/ Thing 1 and Thing 2...When that certain nagging thought that always pops into my mind (You should be doing ____________, instead of this and if you were "insert someone name of anyone here" you'd be doing this), I pushed it aside b/c well, today is another day to REST. SLOW. BE STILL.
As I started chasing light around the house with camera in hand, I realized, I don't have to move those dishes, I can just leave them. It won't kill me. It will be a record of A&G's playing. I don't have to x, y, or z. Grace took over and I was strangely okay with the dishes on the floor, full of Lincoln logs and pretty much the whole house filled with toys. I started counting the things that A&G touched and moved and created this morning. And for the first time, in a very long time, if ever, I was thankful. Thankful they could move their hands to play w/ toys, thankful they could make music, thankful they were creative enough to get the pots out and make whatever it was they were making. Thankful. This is a miracle, y'all. I have nothing against big 'ol, part the Red Sea type of miracles, but This. This stillness in my heart. In my mind. It's a miracle. Heart Surgery at its finest, by the Great Physician.
So, I have an inkling that tomorrow, I may receive the same command from my Lord.
REST. SLOW. BE STILL.
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| A photo, begging for grace, of my dear Ana Grace. I have no idea how to flip the thing around. |
